It is natural to wonder how long the pain of your grief will last. Unfortunately, our culture sends many messages that grief should “be over” within a few days or weeks. The reality is that grief last longer than most people expect and there is no going back to the way things used to be.

There is no exact timeline for grief, but it is unrealistic for us to expect our grief to be gone after a few weeks or months. After the death of a loved one, certain dates and events will feel different. Your loved one’s birthday, date of death, and other dates will trigger both happy and painful memories. It is common for these dates to create bursts of grief after a time of feeling better.

The truth is that it is normal to miss your loved one for the rest of your life. That does not mean your grief will always be as painful as it is now. But it may not lessen as quickly as you would like or as fast as you and others may expect. Your particular journey of grief is on a timeline that is as unique as your loved one.